GUESS WHO GOT LUCKKKYYY
Okay I know this will suprise you but ummmm it was ME. I know right! what a shock ! I guess the new underwear was a hit? I asked that and he laughed so I ASSUME that means yes? Now I wear that style all the time! JUST IN CASE. But hey I am concerned as I get sex once a year and that may have been it. I have been slightly less bitter since I got some BUT when the panties don’t work then I am sure I will be begging in no time. FYI the painties were black lace with hot pink edge boy cut undies they were flirty but not to sluttyish. HURRAY FOR MEEEEEEE!!!! oops sorry I got a little excited there, you may now go about your day!
How to get a hit
No, not a record or a poor pop star in a bad relationship but a hit on somebody reading my shit. I discovered unless I am discussing sex no one cares. Thank GOD I love sex cause maybe if i discuss masturbation in detail my website will be a hit. Yes I do it, Yes I do it daily. Yes I would do it several times a day except I can only do it if no one is home as I do have kids. Yes, I am a pervert AND a mommy. I hope this doesn’t make me a mommy blogger cause if my kids read anything I type I will shit myself.
So does anyone want me to tell them when I stumble on free porn? s
Why do people think woman don’t like porn? We ( I mean me) just hate BAD porn. I prefer to toss a story aside to make room for the sex, hopefully nasty dirty sex. The whole oops I am naked and had no idea that a repairman (cable,dishwasher,washing machine etc) was in my house and here I am naked and shimmery from my shower. Well, since you saw me naked I should let you fuck me because that is just the decent thing to do and you sir are fucking hot. Unless it is girl on girl porn then she is fucking hot in a way better way. I prefer the idea of… oh let’s let that thought linger for another day I need to call the pool guy again. I don’t have a pool but ummmm never mind.
Sex Watch 2009
I thought sex watch made it sound more exciting like a hurricane is a comin’. As I have said MANY times Hubs never wants sex. Sat night I informed him that i wanted sex this weekend. This isn’t new-I tell him every weekend I want some nookie! Anyhooo, he grabbed my boob!! Well this is the international sign for “let’s get it on”. Apparently hubs doesn’t know the international sign as ummmmm still no nookie! I was so hopeful, I even SHUT MY LAPTOP! Yup that is serious. So sunday night I break out the big guns – porn. What guy doesn’t want sex after viewing porn? I probably ruined the porn as I found it really funny and not at all sexy. She went to the store and got a magazine but nothing for him. He was annoyed.She said sorry and showed him her boobs (nice ones) and then proceeded to give him a blow job “cause you can’t get that at the store”. Massive eyeball rolling and laughing on my part may not have been a turn on. Don’t misunderstand I love porn, I have no problem watching it even though I am a girl/woman. So we are almost at 15 months let’s see what happens!
I am not a physic but I see trouble ahead!
I might call Dion Warwick to confirm but I think she went bankrupt. My FIL was in the hospital, it was minor and he is fine. My asshole brother in laws just went apeshit nuts and decided someone has to come as there should be more then one brother in town? WHY exactly do they need to be here? He is in the hospital not needing home care and HE IS FINE for god’s sake. But the brother came. It was a little shitty but ok in general. THEN he decides he should move here!!! This is good as it means free babysitters(go me) but bad as they can be assholes. So I am torn because they love the kids(good for me) but can be total assholes(bad for me). I think it is about to get a lot more crappy in this wasteland town!
In Laws Suck (not in a fun way)
Well, Here is a little about me. I live in a TINY house it has only 2 bdrm and 2 ba. it fits my tiny family fine. My mother in law is a massive hypocontriac, she convinced FIL he was dying so off to the hosp. Now my tiny house ALSO has a sil in law (couch) and BIL (blow up bed) in it. They are fucking driving me crazy. Passive aggressive a game that these shits are great at. I swear to god one more fucking eye roll and I might rip her head off and shove up the BIL ass. The ONLY thing wrong with fil is ulcers, ummm they way they dick around and worry it si no wonder he has fucking ulcers. I swear to all that is holy I may need bail money soon depending on if i get arrested for murder. Hey if the octo mom can get donations to help her raise her test tube babies then why can’t i raise money for my defense. HMMMMMMM I might just have a plan!
Have I had sex lately?
Confession time, Still no sex!! WTF people it has been MONTHSSSSSS I am guess about 14! I was going to keep track but that just depressed me. He said that is normal in today’s stressful times and I said helloooooo it’s a stress reliever, but he didn’t buy it. Maybe I should put an ad in the paper;
Chubby chaser needed
Must love sex A LOT and be slightly twisted
Must want sex at all times
Can have a high heel fetish
Must love big boobs
I bet this will be a huge hit in my tiny town paper. No really, if you want to have a crime spree do it at 10 am on a Sunday everyone (but me) is in church and you won’t get caught. This is a theory and I have an alibi so don’t bother calling the cops!
When will we be out of work?
I think it is more annoying to not be laid off BUT know it will happen at some point. There is to much stress with this! BUT then again he is working so… I guess I shouldn’t bitch too much. But where is the fun in that? I notice in the Internet world that people are already hating on Obama but it seems a little early for that as it took W several years to completely fuck America over so how is someone new supposed to fix it in a few months? This concludes today’s service announcement.
I have the flu
I have the flu. I want someone to feed me frozen grapes. My kids are sick. THEY want ME to feed them frozen treats. Do you see what is wrong with this picture? I love my kids but ummm they are sick- shouldn’t they be lying about the house quietly? Nope, they are louder and screamier then usual. Oh well at least I have the internets!!!
This is stolen with permission from Mental Poo at http://midgetmanofsteel.blogspot.com/
I like wall e
I like this movie and think it is very cute. My kids however love this movie and wish to watch it 5,000 times a day. What, it is better then being outside. RIGHT???? But after watching it maybe a million times I wonder if the Terminator robots would be less annoying? yup, that’s it, that’s all I got today. This was a sad post for my creativity. 
